li {display:inline;} a.buttonlist {color:rgb(255,255,255);} .buttonlist { -moz-box-shadow:inset 0px 1px 0px 0px #ffffff; !important -webkit-box-shadow:inset 0px 1px 0px 0px #ffffff; box-shadow:inset 0px 1px 0px 0px #ffffff; background:-webkit-gradient( linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0.05, #f0c895), color-stop(1, #a8814d) ); background:-moz-linear-gradient( center top, #f0c895 5%, #a8814d 100% ); filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient(startColorstr=’#f0c895′, endColorstr=’#a8814d’); background-color:#f0c895; -webkit-border-top-left-radius:20px; -moz-border-radius-topleft:20px; border-top-left-radius:20px; -webkit-border-top-right-radius:20px; -moz-border-radius-topright:20px; border-top-right-radius:20px; -webkit-border-bottom-right-radius:20px; -moz-border-radius-bottomright:20px; border-bottom-right-radius:20px; -webkit-border-bottom-left-radius:20px; -moz-border-radius-bottomleft:20px; border-bottom-left-radius:20px; text-indent:0; border:1px solid #f0c895; display:inline-block; color:#ffffff; font-family:Georgia; font-size:15px; font-weight:bold; font-style:normal; height:50px; line-height:50px; width:100px; text-decoration:none; text-align:center; text-shadow:1px 1px 0px #000000;} .buttonlist:hover { background:-webkit-gradient( linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0.05, #a8814d), color-stop(1, #f0c895) ); background:-moz-linear-gradient( center top, #a8814d 5%, #f0c895 100% ); filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient(startColorstr=’#a8814d’, endColorstr=’#f0c895′); background-color:#a8814d;} .buttonlist:active { position:relative; top:1px;} div#centralbuttons { width: auto; text-align: center; } ul#storebuttons {padding: 0.5em;}

Amazon Amazon CA Amazon UK Amazon AU
B&N smashwords

I think I’ve had two glasses of champagne and three whiskey sours. I’m working on my fourth. I’ll need a lot more before this night is over considering the bane of my existence is here and she won’t stop looking at me.
When I first met her, I used to stare at her all the time. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I felt like a fucking stalker and I knew I was on the verge of being just that. I had wanted her and I fought that so hard. I used to move through the hallways at school like a shadow and watch as she left her class. She was so introverted at that point she didn’t even notice. Hell, I think she’s still introverted. I don’t think she could ever change that. She doesn’t like attention so she pretends it’s not there. She got so good at pretending, she really didn’t notice anything.
I feel like the stalked now. Her eyes follow me everywhere I go. Talking to Pierce about Donovan. Dancing with Rachel. Sitting in the corner playing a game with Asher. Every time I go to the bar her eyes are on me. No one says anything about it, but they all know. Rachel has that look in her eyes, the one that means she’s about to go off on someone. She’s pissed off on my behalf and I don’t have the heart to tell her I can handle the bitch.
I’m the only person who could ever handle her.
After three hours of her staring at me, I decide I can’t handle it anymore. I throw back the rest of my whiskey and I stalk towards her. She looks surprised when I grab her arm and yank her towards the back of the room. Then I lead her out into the empty hall.
She leans against one side and I lean against the opposite side. Then we just stare at each other. It’s been a little over a year and I can’t think of what to say to her. It’s like we know each other but we don’t. It makes me think of when we first met. I didn’t know what to say to her then either.
“Why did you bring me out here?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest. Not because she’s mad, no, she’s turned on. She doesn’t like for people to notice her pebbled nipples. In a few more seconds she’ll tighten her thighs and she’ll be thinking about getting a new pair of panties.
I shrug my shoulders. That’s when I see the anger twinkle in her eyes. Now she’s thinking of hitting me while I watch her tighten her thighs. We are creatures of habit. This is habit for us if nothing else. Fighting, getting angry and then finding somewhere to fuck because that’s what we do. Even when we were unbelievably happy that’s what we did.
I hate how much I miss her.
“You know, if you want to talk, then you have to speak. I know you. There’s always something you want to say.” She uncrosses her arms and I feel it straight to my groin because her nipples are hard. They strain against her dress and I want to pull the fabric down and suck one of the pink pretties into my mouth.
I shrug again. She wouldn’t talk to me a year ago, wouldn’t explain why she left. There’s no reason why I should talk to her now. I want to torture her for some reason. The thing about that though is I’m torturing myself just by being in her presence.
The tension pings against the walls around us. It’s in the air and you can actually feel it, it’s pulling us together. It has always bound us together. What we felt for each other was more than love. We are and will always be soul mates. She and I are one and it kills me inside. When I just needed her to love me, talk to me, she couldn’t do it. I don’t trust her and I hate her while I’m more in love with her than I’ve ever been before.
It’s probably all the alcohol or maybe it’s just her, but I cross the hallway and I get in her space. I look down to watch her clench her fists against the wall. We don’t touch but our eyes lock and this feels all too familiar.